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Naked Dave a Cruise Ship Mishap

Every cruise gives us memories both good and bad. We come away with moments to cherish, tales to tell and laughter to share. A recent cruise was no different although the laugh enjoyed is at the expense of a good friend who has given me permission to share his story.

Dan and I had booked the inaugural passenger trans-Atlantic repositioning cruise of the Celebrity Edge departing near the end of April in 2019. We were soon joined by several friends who also booked the cruise. Various travel plans were made, shore excursions discussed, and we all looked forward to the trip with great anticipation. One of the members of the group is a fellow named Dave.

Dave and his wife Claire are seasoned travellers who have wandered the world on both land and cruise holidays. To say they are knowledgeable travellers would be an understatement, so we never expected to hear that Dave had a ship-board incident that would leave us all giggling.

One morning, several days after we had set sail, Dave arrived at breakfast and shared with us that he had experienced a bad night. What happened we enquired? Dave sadly shook his head and said that his eyesight is not what it used to be and that had caused him great grief the previous night.

It seems that sometime during the wee hours, Dave had to go to the toilet and not wanting to wake his wife, he stealthily got out of bed and quietly made his way towards the cabin’s bathroom. The blinds in the cabins on this new ship, make the rooms exceptionally dark and Dave’s room was no exception. Knowing that the cabin’s bathroom had a night light, he looked for any faint shimmer of light in order to get his bearings and lead him to his destination. He sleepily saw some faint light showing through what appeared to be a door frame and felt his way to it.

He was determined to be quiet and do nothing to wake Claire up so upon arriving at the door, he found the handle, quickly opened the door, stepped into what he thought was the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind him. As soon as he stepped out, he realized his error. The door he had just gone through was not the bathroom door but the door that led into the hallway. The realization hit him at the same time as he heard the door click shut behind him, effectively locking him out.

Normally that would not be so bad, however Dave sleeps in the nude so he was now naked and standing in the ship’s corridor. Compounding the issue was the sound of another cabin door opening and the voice of a woman thanking her friends for inviting her for a drink in their cabin. Dave could hear their farewells: “Good night, see you tomorrow” and knew that it might only be a matter of seconds before he was discovered.

Naked and in imminent danger of being seen, Dave pressed himself against the door and tried to alert Claire to the situation. “Claire, Claire” he whispered in as loud a voice as he could manage without drawing attention to himself. There was no response. He started knocking on the door. “Claire, Claire, open the door” he whispered a little more loudly and with greater urgency. Finally he spoke loudly “Claire, Claire, OPEN-THE-DOOR”.

Upon waking, Claire looked around. She could not see Dave but she could hear his voice. She went to the bathroom and opened the door. No Dave. However, she could clearly hear him and the desperation in his voice. “Where are you?” she asked. “I am in the hallway, open the F**king door” he responded with even greater urgency.

Claire opened the door and her naked husband rushed past her. “What were you doing naked in the hall?” she asked as she shut the cabin door. Dave, relieved to be inside the cabin without threat of being under ship’s arrest for being a “streaker”, explained to her what happened.

The next morning Dave shared his story with us and commented “You don’t know how relieved I was that the woman turned in the other direction when she left her friend’s cabin”. Claire, the master of the understatement said “It is a good thing I heard him and opened the door. I think they have a dress code on this ship”. Dave simply responded “It would have been much ado about such a little thing”.

The rest of us now refer to him as “Naked Dave”.

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